Transgender Aphorisms
Written in the light of experience
By Bea Groves-McDaniel, March 2022
Written in the light of experience, but not to be taken too seriously.
There are two 'closets' – the one where you hide and pretend you're male, and the one where you spend your time only in the company of other transpeople. At some point you have to leave both.
Eventually you have to face your fears
Most people couldn't care less who you were or are as long as you're pleasant, approachable, polite and do your job properly.
Take the advice of women you trust.
The people who are viciously prejudiced against you usually have some sexual
hang-up in their past.
Wear what you want, but be prepared to revise.
Everything moves on.
If people are going to look, then give them something good to look at.
As far as make-up is concerned, less is more.
Get to know what works for you and your body.
Be patient with men. They can't help it.
A job (paid or unpaid) is essential for a smooth transition.
Be ridiculously, monumentally, overwhelmingly, relentless!
You did not come all this way just to grow yet another thick skin.
The media portrays transfolk as either victims or drama queens, and its up to us to put this right (by example).
The secret is: be a woman who has a differently-gendered past, not a trans woman.
Being a woman is not about biology, but about living in the world (in the widest sense).
Your genitals do not define who you are.
Some people think that they can just walk up to you and start asking you
questions about your 'bits' – feel free to (metaphorically) slap 'em in the chops.
Authenticity is everything.
The past and the present are one and inescapable. Get used to it.
Surgery won't make you a better person.
Sometimes the dreadful stress of transgender life makes people insane (or at the very least, very emotionally challenged).
Ignorance is rife! Common sense is never common.
With good nylons and a pair of heels you can conquer the world.
Don't be too po-faced; life is sometimes funny.
It is always possible to love and be loved.
Never wear a 'sticky' bra.
Your best friend will often be the person you least expect.
Always live in the light of hope, no matter how hard it gets.
It's better to be alive than dead; you might miss something.
There is no orthodoxy or formula for being a woman or a man.
Going too big in the boob dimensions risks 'pick-axe syndrome'.
Grow old gracefully, but not in mind.
Don't let the rest of your world go to hell in a hand cart just because you aren't the perfect woman you always dreamed of.
We are privileged: we see the world in ways that no other human being ever does.
The dress you lust after is never available in your size.
You can wear one size too small, but breathing is better.
Marcus Aurelius was right when he wrote: "Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason, which today arm you against the present."
Someone will ALWAYS make a point of disagreeing with one or more of these
aphorisms.